Everyday Jon Hill

I bet some of you bitches are pissed you never called me back...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:25:00 -0800

I bet some of you bitches are pissed you never called me back now that I discovered a new found love for hipster cursive writing. This shit could have been all yours. Oh, I was wearing a cardigan when I wrote it. And I haven’t shaved yet.

Write my curses in cursive…

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:57:00 -0800

Write my curses in cursive…

regretterienrox: Jon Hill is my new best friend (Taken with...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:18:49 -0800

regretterienrox:

Jon Hill is my new best friend (Taken with instagram)

Stole the Mad Mex southwestern wing recipe and applied it to ribs. Olive oil, garlic, cilantro, and lemon. And a dash of sesame oil because, well, it’s in my blood.

The meadow.

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 16:53:55 -0800

The meadow.

Art museum.

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 14:37:19 -0800

Art museum.

Philadelphia library.

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:35:50 -0800

Philadelphia library.

Market East. Next stop, Suburban Station.

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:14:19 -0800

Market East. Next stop, Suburban Station.

The final sadsack story to finish off the week. It’s the...

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:55:00 -0800

The final sadsack story to finish off the week. It’s the story of how I almost won $100,000 for a short film, I Met a Girl. This video was a major step in my life and career, so it’s sorta link heavy (but I’m not an asshole and they open in separate windows). Maybe watch the video first and then click on links if you want.

So I used to date this girl, and, like many others, it didn’t end that well. Ended really bad with a complete silent ride home from the airport. That’s like 45 minutes of silence. That’s pretty horrible.

So I went out the next day to my favorite coffee shop and I met a cute girl. What transpired was amazing, and I wrote about it here and then again here. I found out Nikon was throwing a “Your Day in 140 Seconds” contest and I decided to shoot a video about the amazing day I just had. I was on a rushed deadline, as you can see here and then my sigh of relief when I finished. I was really happy with the film. It’s cute, and a true story.

Then we made the top ten, and the shit got real. People seemed to like the video and I was really happy. I begged people to watch, reflected on it, and Dwight Shrute, a judge, tweeted about it. Things were good.

I was completely happy with the film and it’s rather heartwarming response. I fealt honest and pure when I thanked everyone who helped along the way. But alas, the film eventually came up a little short. It was all good though.

So where’s the sadsack part? The sadsack part is the fact that I haven’t talked with Dana since the film. We had a very awkward discussion about the possibility of splitting the prize money, and it didn’t sit well with either of us. And even though she was pretty awesome and the perfect person for me at that moment in my life, it probably wouldn’t have worked out. I just hope she’s ok, wherever she is.

And on a side note, me and the ex are really cool again. I think we were both on our own separate weird rebounds and it brought the house crashing down. But after a few months (and her seeing the video), we kinda hashed everything out and now we keep in touch regularly. She’s a wonderful and talented girl and I’m glad we were able to overlook our differences and become even closer. We laugh about the whole thing now.

Weird how life works like that sometimes. It really is an amazing and potentially short adventure. And you know what? It always works out somehow.

In continuing with yesterday’s sadsack memorabilia, this...

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:22:00 -0800

In continuing with yesterday’s sadsack memorabilia, this photo is what happens when the cute girl you get chocolates for never calls you back.

But unlike the previous girl, this girl was awesome and I don’t fault her for ending it. We dated for a bit but she lived kinda far away and had just moved back home after a nasty breakup. I had just got done dating a pretty dumb person, so the time we spent together was really refreshing and restored my faith in meeting girls. She was caring, even went as far as calling me on Father’s Day just to see how I was doing. She was a keeper, but sometimes is just doesn’t work out and that’s Ok. Just be happy you got to meet that person and while you’re at it, make a little short film about her.

Oh, and never forget that text she sent you right before President’s Day. Those are the things that count in life.

SIDEBAR: These chocolates were given to me by my friend Rachel in Philly. She is the cute friend I leave notes for.

So you’re telling me that for just $.99, I can fill up...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 20:24:17 -0800

So you’re telling me that for just $.99, I can fill up that cup glued to your hat with all the coffee it’ll hold? You ma’am, have yourself a deal.

So last year I met this really cute girl at a party and after...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:38:00 -0800

So last year I met this really cute girl at a party and after hitting it off, we decided to go out on a date. We both had a great time at the museum and agreed on a second date. I really liked this girl, because unlike most girls I had met that year in L.A., she would always call me back. Not reply with a text or a facebook message, but with an actual phone call in a rather timely fashion. And then we would talk - like normal people.

So for our next date, I asked her for three words, and that I’d try to come up with a date that involved them. She seemed excited for the idea and came up with Adventure, Artistic, and Laid-back (I excused the sorta double word and embraced the contradiction of a laid-back adventure. If I can’t figure it out, then I don’t deserve to be on a date with her.)

So I came up with what you see in the photo. I figured we’d don our captains hats, color in the Elmo safari book (while probably adding a bunch of penises), and make dinner while the Island Getaway scented candle filled the air of this laid-back artistic adventure. Oh, and if any wild animals or savages arrived, we’d have a foam mace and axe to fend them off (axe not pictured). All of this would be captured on the two disposable cameras and at the end of the date, we would make out. Or so I assumed.

Well, before this date could happen, this girl became every other girl I met that year, and she decided not to call me back. After leaving three unanswered messages, I’m now stuck with a bag of sadsack memorabilia in my closet.

So ladies, I pose two questions for you:

1. Does anyone want a re-gifted date for Valentines Day?

2. Does anyone want to punch this girl Lisa in the face for me?

mikekarnell: cigarettes and coffee - otis redding

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:41:34 -0800

mikekarnell:

cigarettes and coffee - otis redding

Best Trip Ever!!!

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:40:00 -0800

So I just got back in town after spending a little over a week in Philadelphia. Spent the trip with the LFF and cute girls. In honor of the ten year reunion that I went to, I’ve decided to remember this trip like a junior high girl would:

Never forget… Great emails about my book, cute girl texts, Ex-girlfriend’s dad possibly being on my train, the accurate prediction of what Spitz did after the phone call, running into a cute girl from college, blunts and records, the new adventures of old Hagan, eating cupcakes, trying to make two half cupcakes look like one and putting it back in the fridge so no one would know, more blunts and records, Big Worm’s organized closet, probably a few more blunts and records, Herrm taking the record off the needle for no reason and back flipping, winning the farthest traveled at the reunion, “We call that cooking wine”, Maleek catching a girl and flexing, my Willow Hill girls, dropping it like it’s hot after being accused of being too West coast now, Hawk for life, not winning the $100 bet, Dr. Gberg’s magic tricks, big bro’s new place, playing legos with the nephew, pancakes with a cute girl, dinner with another cute girl, Gulsack’s hookup, learning about the strategy of putting yourself head first into the Friend Zone and trying to bang your way into a relationship, “Her body’s sick”, leaving notes for a cute girl, the beautiful weather, eating a bacon and egg sandwich in Rittenhouse, seeing Van Gogh up close, having a cute girl think she wasn’t being cute enough the day before and driving all the way to the museum just to give me a hug, tacos with Joco, losing to the Legion of Doom with a cute girl, listening to records with a cute girl, wondering what the hell 8th grade Jon would think about all of this, being bitter about everyone’s favorite internet videos, Rockband, 24/7, the insane house and rink, Fat Z forgetting to take off the skate guards, Hurd with the American flag, Kamen’s This is Life entrance, 20 questions, Street name: Lil’ T, Seed, Unseed, Son, Unson, Ron Hextall, beating Snip in ping pong, doing the Bernie, even more 20 questions, scoring mad goals, Weinbitch puking, seeing stars after a faceplant, Him Taye’s epic fall caught on tape, cooking a 20 lb. turkey, two on two on two, Rock and Sock Connection, doggie doggie and making the two point shot, the FTC crackdown, and listening to Ghostface on the ride home. BFFs!!!

My only regret was not eating a Wawa Italian Hoagie. Not bad for just a trip home.

But I’m glad to be back in L.A. I miss this place and all the people in it.

The Bird at the Coffee Shop

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:52:00 -0800

The Bird at the Coffee Shop

Took a hard spill on the ice. Saw flashes for a second. Returned...

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 11:06:54 -0800

Took a hard spill on the ice. Saw flashes for a second. Returned to score like Ron Hextall.

The cheap seats.

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:52:58 -0800

The cheap seats.

Our rink.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:08:31 -0800

Our rink.

Quick stop at the shop before the pond. Gotta get sharp son.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:21:11 -0800

Quick stop at the shop before the pond. Gotta get sharp son.

mikekarnell: Sometimes when I need a pick me up I just remind...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:12:11 -0800

mikekarnell:

Sometimes when I need a pick me up I just remind myself that I once completed a perfectly symmetrical high-five where me and my friend’s hand joined as one.

Also notice the smile on Jeremy’s face and Willy in the background giving a victorious fist pump at the sight of the perfect symmetrical high-five.

Oh, and the fact that I keep it thoro by holding my dick in public.

Lunch plans got cancelled so I ended up at the museum.

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:57:44 -0800

Lunch plans got cancelled so I ended up at the museum.