I’m Been Complaining Too Much
I can’t believe I turned into the person that I hate: Someone who complains and whines. I mean, that’s kinda the opposite of my mission in life and I caught myself drifting into becoming that person. Luckily a cute girl came and saved me.
Complaining is a cancer. I’m not talking about just accepting everything through a pair of optimism Warby Parkers. If something is wrong, say it. But when you find yourself complaining about something that you shouldn’t even complain about, let alone should be looking forward to, then you’re in trouble.
Most of this newfound complaining stems from my job. Look, I have a great job. I make more than the average person, my boss is cool as shit, and it’s not that stressful. Oh, and did I mention all I do is shoot and edit videos with beautiful models? Yeah, there’s a guy delivering TV’s right now that really wants to punch me in the face.
Except that I do. See, the thing is, it is a great job. But it’s not exactly where I want my career to be. I want to write and direct films and TV shows. I want to make comedies. Right now I’m making fashion videos. While I love fashion, it’s just probably not where I want my career to end up at. So I have a legitimate gripe. And we’re also moving to Santa Monica for the next year or so while they build a new mega-office. So that’ll add another hour and a half to my daily commute (which is equivalent to them asking me to work on Saturdays from 9-3 without getting paid more). Again, another legitimate gripe right? The Westside sucks bro and I’ve been dreading it since they announced the move last month. Like really dreading it to the point that I’m starting to hate everything about my job.
But here’s the problem: I’ve been complaining about something that doesn’t exist yet and that’s my number one no no in life. I’ve been sitting around complaining about what might happen, not complaining about something that is actually happening. See, all this drama is self created. I’m complaining about a commute to a new office that I’ve never even stepped a foot in yet. And all this whining has affected other aspects of my life. I find I can’t even enjoy my day without thinking about how bad my future is going to be. That’s just stupid. What if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? And who knows, maybe I’ll love my new office. There are some great perks that the company if offering during this transition but I can’t see them when I’m constantly staring directing into the butthole of the 10 Freeway. And instead of bitching about these fashion videos not being a hit TV show on Comedy Central, I need to stay focused and appreciate the fact that someone is paying me a lot of money to videotape models and become a fashion director. I could spin this into something bigger if I wanted. I just have to want it.
It’s totally natural to feel lost in your life and turn that into frustration. Hell, I’m still only human. But that’s why you need to surround yourself with good people. Because all it took was one comment from a cute girl to tell me that all I’ve been complaining a lot more than usual to snap me out of it. Sometimes you need someone else to shine that mirror back at you to see where you’re at right now in your life. That mirror will remind you that you need to look inside before you can see what’s really going on outside. Most of the time it’s not that much.
So what’s outside? Well, for one, I get a week off while they move offices. Gonna spend that week building stuff and surfing. Oh, and then I go to Thailand for two weeks to visit my mom. Yeah, I’ve had a three week paid vacation staring at me this whole time and I was overlooking it by focusing on Sigalert instead. I’m a lucky guy. No more complaining.
Last night I had a dream that I hugged my dad. That was the entire dream: a hug, an I love you, and a whole lot of tears.
I’m guessing that’s what heaven is like.